Chapter VII: Making Nice

Weeks passed and I had my hands so full with the children that I barely got a chance to think about how I was going to manage to single-handedly repair the rift that had deepened even more with Bessie's death. I still hadn't gone back to work, and I had all but given up having any kind of career until the children were older. Lilah, especially, was a challenge.

Outwardly, she's a normal little girl. She loves playing dress-up, and her favorite role is that of a princess. She will take up “court” at the kitchen table and make imperious demands for an hour or more if she has an audience. But she seems to also have some behavioral problems. She hasn't made very many friends at school. And she acts out a lot, defying me seemingly for the sake of the act, not caring about the consequences, of which I've tried every variety. Nothing seems to affect her, and she often laughs at me when I chastise her, as if it is a game. And it's not just me she acts out with. The other day, while I was out watering the garden, I heard one of the boys start crying. When I came back inside, she was standing there licking the lollipop I'd given Timo with a nonchalant smile on her face.

“Lilah, give that back to your brother!” I commanded. “You know that's his treat for sitting on the potty!” Instead of listening, she casually dropped it onto the carpet, then ground the heel of her boot on it while staring at me with a blank expression. The hard candy cracked as it broke into sticky pieces that clung to the carpet fibers. I watched her walk back to her room in total shock. I knew she wasn't the most obedient of children, but I admit that sort of bald-faced rebellion took me by surprise.

I spoke to Xander about it that evening, but he was light-hearted about it. “She's probably just going through a phase. God knows she can't be any worse of a kid than I was, and look how you straightened me out!” he insisted, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I still had misgivings, but I swallowed them, willing to accept his explanation for the moment. I settled for grounding her from television, and when I told her her punishment, she sulked for a good hour before bed, so I felt a little better.

Less than a week later, I discovered I was pregnant again. This time when I told Xander, he took it in stride. I don't know whether to be relieved or concerned that my pregnancies are becoming so commonplace for him, but he's optimistic about another impending promotion at work, so we started planning another renovation to our little house.

The impending arrival of two new additions to our family renewed my hopes of healing the divide between the children and their only surviving grandparent. I began calling Buster to check on him. I even stopped by the house a few times, but he was never home. I wondered idly what was keeping him so busy, but I never asked. I didn't want him to feel that I was prying. I was sure that wouldn't help things. Every time I invited him over he declined, though his refusals were tending to be more and more polite, ever since the first one where he had laughed in my ear before hanging up. I assumed I was wearing him down, and one day, after I playfully handed the phone to Mattei, instructing him to invite his grandfather over for dinner, I was surprised to hear Buster's answer: “Sure, I'll be right over.”

I hadn't been completely counting on a positive answer, so I panicked a little, throwing things around the kitchen and even tapping into a little of my Magic to hurry things along when the kids weren't looking. I didn't want to teach them to disrespect the gift, should any of them turn out to possess it later, but this was-- in the small domestic sphere to which my world had shrunk-- an official emergency.

Buster arrived in half an hour, shaved, showered, and dressed in a button-down plaid shirt. I immediately lamented my own stained and rumpled houseclothes, but to my surprise he smiled when he saw me. “Moriah,” he said, nodding.

“Buster, thanks so much for coming. The kids are so excited to see you!”

As if on cue, Lilah came outside and took him by the hand. “Hi, grandpa! Remember me?”

Buster glanced down at my little girl, eyes sparkling. “No, I remember a little tiny thing no taller than your knee!” he exclaimed, and Lilah giggled. I watched incredulously as she towed him into the house, where he immediately picked up Mattei and began tickling him playfully.

I went to finish up dinner, smiling to myself at the happy miracle occurring in my living room as I listened to Buster play with his grandchildren. I was nearly finished when a sudden silence announced Xander's arrival home from work.

“What are you doing here?” Xander asked accusingly.

“I was invited.”

“By who?”

“Your...” Buster hesitated mid-sentence. “By Moriah.”

I flushed, hurrying over to do damage control. “Xander, I invited your father over for dinner. I think it would be nice if our children got to spend a little time with their grandfather.”

Again, Lilah seemed to take a cue from my words, and stood from her place on the floor near Timo, taking Buster's hand and looking at her father with a pleading look. “Can grandpa stay and play with us, Daddy?” she asked.

Xander's eyes softened as he looked at his daughter's face. Looking back at Buster's face, he said nothing, then stalked off to the bedroom to get ready for dinner.

I put the food down quickly so that the lack of small-talk between Buster and Xander wouldn't make things even more uncomfortable than they already were.

Xander mostly chatted with Lilah while Buster ate quietly. I looked up from putting my dishes in the sink to find that Buster was gazing at me. I was startled at the attention and suddenly wondered if I'd done something to offend him again, but he smiled. “Thank you for dinner, Moriah. It was delicious,” he said, wiping his mouth.

I demurred, then asked if he'd like some dessert. “We have ice cream?”

“No thanks. I think I've stayed long enough. But...” he glanced at the boys playing with their empty milk bottles on the floor and then at Xander. “If it's alright, I'd like to come back. Maybe next week?”

Xander started to open his mouth, but I quickly cut him off. “Of course!” I replied. “You're welcome here anytime. You're family.” Buster smiled again, gave a curt nod of his balding head, then walked toward the door, giving each of the twins' hair a loving ruffle along the way.

When the front door had closed, Xander turned toward me and without removing his icy glare from my face asked Lilah to go play in her room. She happily hopped up from her half-finished plate and did so. Xander stood and headed toward our bedroom, and I sighed and followed him, closing the door to a crack behind me so I could keep an eye on the boys.

“What exactly are you trying to do here, Moriah?” he demanded.

Straight to the point, then. I preferred it that way, anyway.

“I would think my intentions are clear. I'm trying to allow your father and our children to know each other.”

“You know how I feel about that man.”

“Yes, Xander, I do. And I would think you, of all people, would appreciate what I'm trying to do.”

“And why is that?” he growled.

“Because you just lost your mother!” I spat. He flinched, grimacing at me as if I had slapped him.

“His prejudices kept you apart until her death, and now you are about to do the same thing to your own children! How long do you think your father has until he passes away? How long until our children have lost the chance to have any grandparents in their lives at all?”

Xander had turned from me as I flung my barrage of words at him, and was now leaning heavily against the window sill, his back to me. I stepped forward, touching his shoulder gently, hesitantly.

“Xander...” I said quietly. “I never knew my parents. They died before I could. And I know that you and your father have a lot of differences. But if you let that get in the way of what's important, of being a family... think how much you'll regret it. Think how much you'll have lost, how much the children will lose.”

I felt him tremble beneath my hand, and I pressed myself against his back, reaching around to hold him tightly. We stood like that for a while, listening to the boys talk to each other in their cryptic baby syllables while the wind rustled the tree branches outside. Finally, Xander turned, wrapping his arms around me and gazing into my eyes.

“Moriah... I...” He closed his eyes, and I saw his jaw flex before he started again. “You're right. I do have a lot issues with my dad. And the kids shouldn't have to pay for that. If this is what you think is best, then... okay. He can come over, he can play with the kids, be a part of their lives. But... I...” He shook his head. “I don't think I can forgive him for taking my mom from me, and from them.”

I smiled. “You don't have to. Just let him know his grandchildren. That's enough.”

Xander sighed, then drew me into an embrace. I felt the baby inside me kick in response to Xander's pressure against my tummy, and I smiled. It would be okay.